Relate Guernsey

SELF ESTEEM

People often have bad thoughts and feelings about themselves after a separation. This is poor self-esteem and it can stop you moving forward in your life in all sorts of ways. You need good self-esteem to be happy and to move on healthily after your separation.

You may not realise you don’t value yourself. Poor self-esteem can creep up on you. 

Signs to look out for

Signs that you have poor self-esteem include:

Find a balance

One way to start thinking about yourself in a more balanced way is to make two lists: one of the things you like about yourself, the other of the things you don’t like about yourself.

Another exercise is to ask a friend what you’re good at and what areas you might need to develop a little more.

Stresses and self-esteem

Positive stress comes from taking part in something that’s enjoyable yet challenging, for example taking part in new activities. Positive stress can be good for your self-esteem so you may want to think about how you can encourage it.

Negative stress comes from having too many unwanted demands. It can contribute to your poor self-esteem.

If you can’t reduce your negative stresses, you could:

Be kind to yourself

The following can help you start to value yourself more and improve your self-esteem:

Think about qualities that you could develop

Reflecting on qualities you would like to develop can make you feel more positive. Try these steps to help you think about the qualities you would like to develop:

How we can help

If you’re finding it hard to talk about any tricky issues, Relationship Counselling, offers a safe and confidential space where you can be open and honest.

To find out more and to arrange an appointment contact us today