For some women, the menopause brings with it a sense of sexual liberation, not having to concern themselves with unwanted pregnancy, or worries about when they can have sex (due to menstruation).
More than 50% of menopausal women report no decrease in desire at all in sexual desire, and fewer than 20% report a significant decrease.
For other women, the declining levels of oestrogen result in less vaginal lubrication which can result in intercourse becoming painful (dyspareunia) and in anticipation of pain some women may also cause women to develop vaginismus, (a reflex where the muscles of the vagina contract such that penetration isn’t possible).
Dyspareunia is relatively easy to treat but vaginismus is more difficult to correct and often a sex therapist must be consulted. These conditions could cause a woman to want sex less, coupled with a low appreciation of her body image, or the perception that her partner is less interested. Partners can feel rejected and this can cause them to give up initiating sex, thus creating a physical distance between them. It’s also possible that situations can be equalised in terms of libido: if one partner has had a higher need for sex than the other, they may also be feeling the effects of age, beginning to suffer performance, age-related problems.