We’ve all been there. Our partner comes into the room, sees we’re in a bad mood and asks us what’s wrong. And what do we say? ‘Nothing.’
For some reason, many of us have a tendency to assume our partner should be able to know exactly what we’re thinking without us telling them. It’s as if we’re testing them – asking them to prove they know us well enough to diagnose our feelings without any kind of verbal cue.
In reality, all this does is leave everybody feeling put out. The person being given the silent treatment feels like they’re being put in an unreasonable position and may become defensive. And the person giving it only makes their bad mood worse, convincing themselves that their partner has failed to rise to the test.
If there’s an issue that needs to be resolved, talking is always better than saying nothing. Be brave and be forthright: if it’s something that’s actually important to you, then repressing your concerns will only cause problems further down the line.
This video takes a look at what it’s like when couples don’t tell each other what they’re thinking: