• A married couple in their 30s who arrived at Relate desperately hurt and upset.
  • She had found highly suggestive text messages to another woman, on his phone.
  • He was deeply regretful and wanted the marriage to work. She did not know if she could forgive him.
  • It transpired that their sex life was very limited and infrequent and had always been this way.
  • Counselling helped them to explore their feelings for each other, and the underlying issues in the relationship and they were then offered sex therapy to help them achieve a full sex life.
  • Being Guernsey, it was hard not to see a birth announcement in the Press a year later!


  • A married couple with three children, in their 40s.
  • The wife had attempted suicide three times and had just completed in house treatment with the mental health services.
  • She was on anti-depressants, and while she was relatively stable, her husband was terrified that she would try again.
  • She had little understanding of the impact on him and on the children, one of whom had found her unconscious on her last attempt.
  • They were difficult to work with because of having always to hold the balance between her mental health, and the importance of her coming to understand his perspective as well as her own, as well as considering what the children were feeling.
  • With the permission of the couple, the counsellor liaised with the mental health professional and the GP, for the duration of the counselling.


  • A gay couple, male, both in their 50s, together for 15 years. Alcohol and violence had been a feature of the relationship for some time.
  • The couple were not prepared to accept responsibility for their drinking or their violence, each blaming the other, so we were unable to continue working with them.
  • We can work to support couples with domestic violence, and help them to develop a safety plan, where they agree to separate as soon as they can sense an argument starting up, but only where there are no substance abuse issues, and when both parties are prepared to take responsibility for their own behaviour.
  • Information was given about agencies who would support them with facing the alcohol issues, and they were told that if they were able to manage to control that, we could re-assess their suitability for counselling.